Contrary to most people I go to the beach with, who just like lying under the sun and walking (literally!) in the water for a bit, I like swimming. I don’t remember when I started this habit, I’ve been doing it for years now, but I know what it was that “made me” start it: When I was but a boy, I can still remember seeing my father always swimming when we were going to the beach.
Another thing that I really enjoy, is reading. I read voraciously, not a day goes by without opening a book. Again, I do not remember when I started doing this so systematically, but I do remember my role model: Yes, you guessed it right. My father has always been a reader.
When I first started living on my own as a student, I remember going to the supermarket to buy house cleaning products. Up until that point, I was only visiting it to buy foodstuff. The products that I bought, were –yes you guessed right again- the ones that I saw my mother use back at home.
I was watching a documentary about the homeless in Athens the other day. The reporter asked one of them, “How did you end up on the streets?” “Drugs.” “And what led you to start doing drugs?” “Well, my mother was a user, so to me it wasn’t a big deal. I just did as I saw.”
Other people grow up with parents that are active members in political parties. Their kids, no matter how bright they may be, will almost certainly vote for this same party for their entire lives. Many of these kids are likely to become active members in these parties too. This applies even to parties at the edges, which, the majority seems to believe, are only supported by uneducated and hard-headed people, given those parties’ often bellicose rhetoric against anyone with differing views. Yet I have happened to meet people within these parties, who, based on their academic credentials, would be considered smart.
The point however is that these people do not even think when voting for the political party that their parents have supported adamantly their entire lives. They just vote for these parties, because they believe this is what they are supposed to do. This is their normal.
I do not ever think whether I should go for a swim or not when I am at the beach. Come to think about it, a 10’ swim has probably zero effect on the betterment of my wellbeing, but I just can’t resist swimming. This is my normal.
Parents are an individual’s absolute paradigm. The individual may indeed find other paradigms as well, as they move through in life, but very few of them, if any, will ever conflict to the examples that the parents have set. Because if they are found to be in conflict with the parents, the individual is almost certain to disregard them as “not normal” without a second thought. It would take a great number of paradigms marginally conflicting (so as they would not be disregarded immediately) to the examples set by the parents, to change an individual’s basic beliefs as to what is the “normal”.
Ironically, many parents, even today, believe that they should tell their kids what to do in order to guide them to become “good” or “successful” people. They also believe that if their kids don’t follow “the right path” it’s the school’s fault, for exposing the kids to the wrong examples. That’s the easy way after all. The hard way, and the one that works in the vast majority of examples, is the one in which parents lead by example. Not once in a while. But every day. Every moment. For years on end. Until the behavior becomes so embedded in the youngster’s mind, that they won’t even remember how it came up to become a habit. Until they start swimming, without even knowing why.