You will very often hear complaints in conversations among colleagues in any modern office environment. Most of the time the complaints are directed towards the leadership. Some other times, toward colleagues. Irrespective of who is targeted (employee, or executive) one of the most common complaints that one comes across, is that “[…] he/she is useless.” (I admit that I am also guilty of such an attitude in the past – not anymore thankfully, as we all learn and mature at some point.)
In almost all of these cases, you hear other colleagues rushing in to agree and (usually) reinforce the point.
Here are the major issues with that:
- First, it creates a negative perception in the office for the individual under discussion, a perception that the individual cannot defend against, or learn from (since they are not aware of it);
- Second, it creates a similar negative perception in your head about the individual, which is likely to negatively affect your judgement when having to deal with them;
- Third, it makes you an active participant in an ongoing turf war, out of which you have few things to gain;
- Fourth, even if you gain anything out of this turf war, there will be a precedent established in the office, that turf wars are an acceptable way of solving differences. Remember – the next victim, may be you.
There is one exception to the rule of not taking sides though: That of leadership. And the reason is that taking sides in cases of such disagreements, sends across a message as to how the leader expects the team to act. It sends a clear message about the rules of engagement. And contrary to what many copy-paste “advisors” will tell you about feedback needing to be private, here’s the truth: Feedback needs to be private to the extent that is related to performance on the job. But feedback relating to behavior should be public, because in this way a message is sent: That no exceptions will be accepted.
As for how to react in cases you find yourself in such discussions that you are asked to take sides among colleagues without having a leadership position in a team? Here’s my favorite line: “I don’t know enough to have an informed view.”